I learned how to ride a dirt bike!

On Sunday I went to Saguaro Lake with my friend Steven and his brother Jimmy. Both guys have been riding since they were little and Jimmy was the brother who turned it in to something more than just a hobby. It is his passion. He participates in competitions and does crazy, wicked, sick tricks on his bike. It was so great to watch someone partake in their passion. The type of passion that brings you to your authentic self. Steven taught me how to ride the smaller dirt bike. I didn't want to at first but he talked me in to. He walked along side of me as I tried to figure out how to use a hand clutch, give it gas, use the hand brake and not fall over all at the same time! It was nerve wrecking but man... I felt tough. So I rode around in first gear for probably 20 minutes total while Jimmy laughed at my loser-ness then gave the bike back to the pro.


The view
No smiles for this rider
Steven on the BIG bike.
Pit stop before playing some more. Brothers are not so nice to each other all the time.

Defeated...lets celebrate anyway!

A little bit of drinking, ok maybe more than a little, commenced on Saturday night. We started at a friends to watch the depressing fight between Randy and Brock. Randy Couture is by far the best known MMA fighter. We all had hope that he would come through and rock the biggest guy ever to enter the UFC but it didn't happen. Although he didn't win, Randy had class and congratulated his opponent in the end.

After the fight and many games of Left, Right, Center, we headed to First Round Draft for some Karaoke. I'm too chicken to sing but others are really good and rocked the joint!

Welcome to Gilbert

Friday night I was welcomed to Gilbert with quite an interesting "ritual." Troy, the husband of the couple I am staying with went on a 7 day hunting trip and came back with a buck! I'm not much if a hunter but was very interested in the process it takes to get your "prize." Troy waited a little too long to clean the skull so he could keep the antlers...so the brain became infested with maggots and nastiness. Soooo....he had to boil the head, yes the WHOLE head in water. We decided to make a party out of it and be the hicks they are in Gilbert. We had two fires going so we could sit and enjoy the warmth but didn't have to smell the burning maggot infested brains. YUM! Nicole had to dig out all the meat so the skull would be completely clean. Man is she brave! She loved it..it was biology class for her.

The proud hunter and his brave lady...




















Adam serenaded us with this non G rated songs on the guitar, made for lots of laughs and getting to know each other quickly!

My first, next tattoo.

The main verse in this poem...on my rib cage.

"Phenomenal Woman"

Pretty woman wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to fit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

They swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's the arch of my back

The sun in my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing,

I ought to make you proud

I say,

It's the click of my heals,

The bend of my hair,

The need for my care.

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

-Maya Angelou

Movin' on

On Friday November 7th my life completely changed. I loaded up a Penske truck (mostly by myself by the way) with all of my 'so called' important items that I couldn't live with out. Needless to say, I left a lot of material items behind along with the intangible, including my heart. My good friend and my dad drove all the way up to Flagstaff to help me load the couches and help me hold my emotions from exploding. We made a few stops to pick up my never used boat and at the casino for lunch where we each had 8 dollars to spend on slots. We didn't win anything but had some mindless entertainment then hit the road again. My friend Nicole drove the Penske down the freeway like a bat out of hell. Scared me to death that she was going to roll the thing but then I found out it had a governor on it that only allowed her to go 75mph or lower. Whew!
We unloaded pretty much everything in to my dads trailer for storage, for now, then headed down to Gilbert to unload some more! So now I live with a married couple in a nice place in the middle of cowboy town. It will take me some time to get use to the cowboy way, really not my style but I'm pretty excepting of others so we shall see.

I have been searching for jobs every day and have only a had a few call backs. I'm going crazy knowing I have nothing to do and no money coming in. It's hard to just sit around all day but nice a the same time. I am so lucky to have such supportive friends and family. When I think about the emotional part of this move...I don't want to think about it. Those of you who know me, I am really good at putting on a face and making the situation light. But inside I hurt. My heart hurts everyday. I think yesterday was the first day I didn't cry. It's hard to learn how to sleep alone all the time, to not have to give all my attention to a dog, maintain a job that is effortless and not see the mountains I drove by everyday. I am trying to find what I enjoy to do. Recently it's been contacting old friends that I know will entertain and keep my mind off of reality. Life is hard, I know this. No one ever told me it would be easy...by why not. I mean really?!

Sitting, wishing, waiting...sums it up for now.